Written by Sarah Walker, Partner, Edwards Family Law. Edwards Family Law is authorised and regulated by the Solicitors Regulation Authority (SRA number: 658249).
Discovering a spouse’s affair can be deeply painful, and it is very common to wonder whether their cheating means you will receive a larger divorce settlement or a different outcome on child arrangements in England and Wales. In most cases, adultery itself does not change the financial settlement or child arrangements. Still, there are important exceptions.
This guide explains what the law actually says, when an affair might matter, and what practical steps you can take to protect yourself and your family.
1. Does adultery matter legally in the UK?
Since April 2022, you no longer need to prove adultery, unreasonable behaviour, or any other reason to get divorced. The Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act 2020 introduced “no-fault divorce” to England and Wales, meaning you simply provide a statement that the marriage has irretrievably broken down.
The court does not investigate who is “to blame” for the breakdown. While the emotional impact of an affair is vast, the legal process itself is not about punishing an unfaithful spouse. Previously, adultery was one of five “facts” you could use to prove irretrievable breakdown, but this system no longer exists.
Key point: Whether or not your spouse had an affair, the divorce process is the same. You cannot mention the affair in your application.
2. Does cheating affect your divorce settlement?
In most cases, no. English courts do not punish infidelity in the division of assets. The family court’s primary focus is on fairness and on meeting both parties’ needs, not on moral judgment.
When deciding how to divide assets, the court considers the factors set out in section 25 of the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973:
- The income, earning capacity, property and other financial resources each spouse has or is likely to have
- The financial needs, obligations and responsibilities of each party, including housing needs
- The standard of living during the marriage
- The age of each party and the duration of the marriage
- Any physical or mental disability
- Contributions made by each party, including non-financial donations such as caring for children
- The needs and welfare of any children of the family are a first consideration.
“Conduct” is only taken into account in rare cases where it would be inequitable for the court to ignore it. That threshold is very high and typically involves serious financial or personal misconduct rather than the fact of an affair alone.
A recent reported case which dealt with the issue of “conduct” is the case of Loh v Loh-Gronager [2025] EWFC 483. In this case Cusworth J determined a heavily contested financial remedy dispute arising from a short, childless marriage governed by a pre-nuptial agreement, in which the husband engaged in serious litigation misconduct. The court found that the husband had fabricated or doctored key emails and made systematic unauthorised withdrawals of substantial sums, most of which were treated as advances on his entitlement pursuant to a pre-nuptial agreement. Applying s.25(2)(g) MCA 1973 and Radmacher v Granatino [2010] UKSC 42, the court held that the husband’s conduct crossed the high threshold at which it would be inequitable to disregard it. The court found that fairness required a sanction beyond costs, resulting in significant deductions from the husband’s entitlement under the pre-nuptial agreement and a substantially reduced final award.
Notably, while the husband made some suspicious bank transfers that could suggest personal relationships, it was not any alleged affairs that constituted serious litigation misconduct. He was sanctioned for misappropriation of funds and egregious litigation misconduct, as well as an overall pattern of behaviour that undermined the integrity of the proceedings, for example, posting personal photographs of the wife on Instagram and instructing a private investigator to loiter outside her home. These actions, not marital infidelity, contributed to the court’s finding that his conduct crossed the s.25(2)(g) threshold.
At Edwards Family Law, we frequently act for clients who raise conduct issues within their financial proceedings, and we are able to advise on the merits and prospects of any potential conduct claim. We can guide you on whether such arguments are likely to be relevant, proportionate, and effective in the context of your case.
In a recent matter we acted for a husband whose wife made serious but ultimately false allegations of abuse in Children Act and Family Law Act proceedings. She incurred disproportionately high legal costs pursuing these claims compared with the husband, and the court ultimately penalised her litigation conduct in the financial settlement.
3. When an affair can affect your settlement: financial misconduct
Although adultery itself almost never changes the outcome, how your spouse spent money during the affair can sometimes be relevant. This is often described as “dissipation of assets” or “financial misconduct”.
The amount of money that is dissipated has to be significant and cannot just comprise of gifts or holidays, examples of “financial misconduct” might include:
- Significant monetary transfers to an affair partner
- Using marital funds to purchase a property in the affair partner’s sole name without the other spouse’s consent
- Setting up the affair partner in a business using marital funds
Where one spouse has used marital funds in this way, the court can take the dissipation into account when deciding a fair settlement. This might mean “adding back” the sums that have been spent so the innocent spouse is not unfairly disadvantaged.
For higher-value or more complex cases, forensic accountants, careful analysis of Form E financial disclosure, and targeted questionnaires can be used to unpick unusual spending patterns and uncover hidden assets or accounts.
Our lawyers have acted in a case where a husband deliberately made himself bankrupt in an attempt to frustrate his wife’s financial claim and spending lavishly (amounting to hundreds of thousands of pounds) on his affair partner. This was a rare instance in which the husband’s financial misconduct, linked to his affair, was relevant to the overall outcome of the case.
4. Does an emotional affair count as adultery?
Legally, no. Under the old divorce law, adultery was defined as voluntary sexual intercourse between a man and a woman. A close relationship involving messages, emotional intimacy, or even kissing, but without sexual intercourse, was not considered adultery.
However, this distinction no longer has a practical effect. Since no-fault divorce was introduced in April 2022, you do not need to prove adultery or categorise your spouse’s behaviour at all. You simply state that the marriage has irretrievably broken down. If an emotional affair has led to serious financial misconduct (described above), that spending can still be relevant to the monetary settlement, regardless of whether it was a physical or emotional relationship.
5. Will an affair affect child arrangements?
An affair alone will not affect custody or contact arrangements. The court’s priority is always the child’s welfare under the Children Act 1989, and having an affair does not make someone an unfit parent.
However, the circumstances around the affair can be important:
- If the new partner presents a safeguarding risk because of their behaviour, substance misuse, or history
- If the home environment has become unstable, with frequent arguments, moves, or emotional distress affecting the children
- If a parent is prioritising the new relationship over their caring responsibilities, leading to neglect or unreliability
In such situations, the court may consider adjusting living arrangements and contact patterns, or imposing safeguards to protect the children’s well-being. The focus remains on stability, safety, and the children’s long-term emotional health, not on punishing a parent for having an affair.
Our team includes specialists in complex children’s matters. Our lawyers have recently acted in a matter where child arrangements and safeguarding had to be considered in light of the fact that a new partner was charged for a serious criminal offence. For more information, see our guide to child arrangements.
6. Can I sue my spouse for having an affair?
No. There is no legal claim for adultery in England and Wales. Unlike some US states, which allow claims for “alienation of affection”, the UK has no equivalent. You cannot sue your spouse or the affair partner for damages.
The only legal avenue is through divorce proceedings and the financial settlement process. If your spouse has misappropriated marital funds in the context of an affair, you can raise this as financial misconduct, but there is no separate claim for the emotional harm caused by infidelity.
7. The emotional reality versus the legal reality
There is often a painful gap between how betrayed spouses understandably feel and what the law can actually do about that betrayal. Many people expect the court to “compensate” them financially for the affair. Still, the legal focus is on meeting needs and achieving a fair, workable outcome for both parties and the children.
That does not mean your emotions are not valid. Feelings of anger, shock, grief, and confusion are widespread. Seeking therapeutic support alongside legal advice can help you process what has happened and make clear, informed decisions about your future.
“Some clients come to us expecting the court to financially penalise their ex-spouse for their behaviour during the marriage. We help them understand that the legal system focuses on practical outcomes, not moral judgements. That said, we fight hard to ensure any financial misconduct is fully accounted for.”
8. Practical steps if you have discovered an affair
Once the initial shock subsides, it can help to take some calm, practical steps:
1. Prioritise your wellbeing
Ensure you are eating, resting, and relying on trusted friends, family, or a counsellor. You do not have to make every decision immediately.
2. Gather key financial information
Gather all relevant financial documents that are readily accessible, such as bank statements, mortgage records, investment and pension information, and any business accounts that can reasonably be produced. This should be done in line with the principle from Imerman v Imerman, which provides that disclosure should generally be limited to documents that can be “found on the kitchen table,” without breaching your ex-spouse’s confidentiality or going beyond what is proportionate.
An “Imerman document” refers to a document in divorce or financial proceedings that is confidential and personal to one spouse, often business, personal, or financial records, which the other spouse cannot access without consent or a court order.
This is a complex area of law, and you should seek specialist legal advice regarding which documents you are entitled to access. At Edwards Family Law, we have extensive experience advising clients on the management and disclosure of “Imerman” documents.
3. Document any suspected financial misconduct
Keep a record of unusual withdrawals and transactions. However, avoid any unlawful access to accounts or devices.
4. Avoid retaliatory action
Try not to make significant financial decisions, move money, or confront the affair partner in a way that could escalate conflict or risk allegations against you.
5. Seek early legal advice from a specialist
Speaking to an experienced family solicitor at an early stage can help you understand your options, timelines, and likely outcomes before you decide whether to separate or divorce.
6. Consider emotional and relationship support
Whether you are considering reconciliation or separation, professional counselling can support you in processing the betrayal and thinking clearly about the future.
9. Frequently asked questions
Generally, no. The court is not there to punish a spouse for infidelity, and adultery alone does not usually entitle the other spouse to a larger share of the assets. However, if the cheating spouse has engaged in serious financial misconduct related to the affair, this may be taken into account when dividing assets.
You are unlikely to receive more money just because of the affair, but you can raise concerns about assets that have been spent or hidden as part of the relationship. The court will still base its decision on needs, resources, and fairness overall, not on moral blame.
No. Since the introduction of no-fault divorce in April 2022, you no longer need to prove adultery or unreasonable behaviour to obtain a divorce. A simple statement of irretrievable breakdown is enough, whether or not an affair has occurred.
An affair on its own does not usually affect child arrangements. The court will consider the children’s best interests, including whether the new relationship presents any safeguarding issues or instability that might affect the children’s welfare.
No. There is currently no separate claim in English family law for damages for emotional distress caused by adultery. While the emotional impact is very real, the financial settlement is based on needs, resources, and fairness rather than compensation for hurt feelings.
It does not matter for the divorce itself, as you no longer need to prove adultery. However, if you are claiming financial misconduct, you will need evidence of the misappropriation of funds. This can often be discovered through the financial disclosure process by way of exchange of Forms E.
This can be relevant to the financial settlement. If your spouse is now co-habiting, their housing costs may be shared, which could affect the court’s assessment of their needs. It does not, however, mean you are automatically entitled to more.
How Edwards Family Law can help
If you have discovered your spouse is having an affair and are unsure what to do next, our team can guide you through your options, from initial advice and financial disclosure through to negotiated settlements or court proceedings where necessary.
We provide discreet, strategic advice tailored to your personal and financial circumstances, with a particular focus on protecting children’s welfare and long-term financial security.
“For a confidential discussion about your situation, contact one of our partners Kelly Edwards, Daniel Chalmers or Sarah Walker, who specialise in complex financial remedy and high net worth divorce cases. Call [020 3983 1818] or email [contact@efl.fabledlabs.co] to arrange an initial consultation.” Edwards Family Law is authorised and regulated by the Solicitors Regulation Authority (SRA number: 658249).